


Choose Your Own Adventure: SamCait, May 2, 2017 Edition

by superfluffycool



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV) RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 02:28:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10799802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superfluffycool/pseuds/superfluffycool
Summary: A psychic once told me I was good at seeing things from all sides. So, I decided to write several interpretations of what the f*cking f*ck happened earlier today. I'll title each chapter so you can skip them if you don't want to go to that adventure.1. The One With the Loneliest Man2. The One for the Crowd at DL3. The One With No One We Know4. The One for the Shippers





	1. The One with the Loneliest Man

Why was he still awake? He wanted nothing more than to fall into black oblivion after this awful day. He hadn't wanted to do it, pleaded with his people to let things continue as they were, but they insisted. SHE had insisted, too. 

That was why he'd finally stopped fighting it. SHE wanted it to end, and volunteered to help.

Funny how when you're a child you are told never to lie, then when you're an adult, you are told to, sometimes even strong-armed into doing so. Ha! He'd spent a fair amount of time lying to himself as well. But now he knew, and just admitted it: he loved her, would love her always, and sacrificed everything to see her happy and keep her in his life.

It wasn't always this way. They'd had amazing chemistry from the start, though she warned him "I don't date actors". She preferred men who were more serious, men that were more stable professionally and emotionally than what she saw during her time in Los Angeles. She'd said that performers were obsessed with their looks and in constant need of attention "And there can only be one of those per relationship!" She'd laughed and he'd laughed, too, but only to please her. He didn't see her as vain or in constant need of attention. He thought she was the most wonderful woman he'd ever met: kind, funny, smart, and breathtakingly beautiful. After getting to know her, there could be no one else.

They started sleeping together soon after that in what they'd decided was a 'friends with benefits' relationship. He'd lied to her that it would be casual and not a big deal to him. He lied to himself that he could change her mind, but it wasn't the worst lie--he'd also convinced himself that he could let her go if another man came along. So when she broke it off, it made it all the more difficult to play it cool. It hollowed him not to have her, though they remained close friends.

There were other women, of course. But his interest in them was always casual and designed to make HER jealous. It didn't particularly work. Her boyfriend was as under her spell as he was. He never doubted that she was faithful to him, even though she remained affectionate and flirtatious with her "best friend" and "favorite co-star". Her boyfriend had even encouraged it! He worked in show business and saw that it could help the show and her career. 

But HE saw their banter and closeness as something more than a tool to fame. He remembered hearing a story once about a dripping water spout wearing a hole in the rock below after years and years of droplets falling against it. Her heart was the rock, his affection the drops. One day, it would bore through.

But back to the present. He'd always encouraged the fans that wanted them together. It wasn't only good for their careers and the show, it also reaffirmed his conviction that they were meant to be together. He thought the collective will of several hundred, maybe even thousand fans could help that come true.

He never wanted to explain it. When his publicist asked him to bring his girlfriend to an event, he'd been honest: he didn't have one. The reality wasn't necessary at that point, let them speculate that he was gay. He didn't want to admit "I am hopelessly in love with my co-star, and she won't have me." It was something he shared with only two or three of his closest friends, though EVERYONE could sense it, except for her. After several recruiting attempts on his part, he agreed to let them find a "girlfriend" for him.

He considered starting something with her because she was cute and had just broken up with her boyfriend, but after their second meeting, he let it go. Despite having a shared profession they had nothing in common. Worst of all, he'd made a silly joke, and she just smiled back at him blankly. It would never work. 

SHE was tired of the drama, and the other she wanted him to to do some actual work. He thought he'd done more than enough on his end, short of prostituting himself, but no. But SHE stepped in, "enough is enough."And there it was. The (old and staged) picture was tweeted out mid morning, all his hopes of wearing down HER heart smashed in several thousand pixels and less than 140 characters. Maybe things could be the same as they were? No, it wouldn't look right. At least he had the breakup to look forward to. He'd have to call his publicist and arrange for it as soon as possible. 

What a way to start his 37th year of life. Maybe he'd get a pet when he got back to Scotland? It'd be nice to have a distraction and some company. His head ached and he rested it on the table in front of him. Finally, he fell into oblivion.


	2. The One for the Crowd at DL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DL stands for Data Lounge. Do you know what that is? Well, they've got some opinions over there about this whole saga, too.

It was never a big deal. His mum was a hippie. She cared that he was a good person, decent, hard working, honest. His sexuality never mattered. Who he loved made no difference to her. She was protective as any mum would be, but she didn't need to worry. He was picky. Always a loner, he rarely found a man that understood his need for solitude. As a result, he had a lot of it. 

His profession, and his metropolitan life allowed him freedom. It wasn't until the role of a lifetime came his way that he felt he had to hide. What made the charade easier was that he adored his co-star. It was the closest he ever felt to falling in love with a woman. He thought her kind, smart, beautiful. That was one thing difficult for people to understand: beauty is apparent no matter your sexuality. He admired her face, her breasts, her legs. She was a natural work of art that any human could appreciate.

She was also hilarious and generous. They loved to shop together and coordinate their outfits for appearances. Her boyfriend was always a little wary of him, but he was eventually won over by sharing his relationship history and insisting that it was good for her career. Sometimes he felt bad for her boyfriend because she obviously had more fun with him. That was typical though--straight men never understand women.

Now that he had a "beard", his life was problematic. He preferred having someone he knew, but after all the online harassment his old family friend faced, he demurred from asking anyone else he. His publicist found one for him. He wanted to choose, but he was not given a choice, "You have to have a woman on your arm. The show, and your career are at stake." He didn't like his "girlfriend" much. She wasn't elegant or witty and seemed too young. Wasn't there anyone else? But the publicist promised she would be perfect and was fine with the online hate that might come her way. 

Her willingness made her ideal, so it was too bad she irritated him. His lack of affection for her in any of their staged photos was his way of rebelling. He hadn't wanted to hide, especially not with her. He thought she made him look bad. Why did he have to hide anyway? This was 2016! He shouldn't have to! All the people that were fans of the show and thought he and his best friend/co-star/non-sexual soul mate were together thought he sold "heterosexuality" very well. Wasn't that enough? He encouraged the speculation because they were fans and they were funny and bright, lovely to interact with. They made him forget to be sad about hiding such a huge part of himself. 

Now, after a year, his "girlfriend" had had enough of doing the heavy lifting in their "relationship". He had also had enough, though he wasn't sure of what. He posted pictures with leading locations and showed up where she'd be only if their were cameras around. It didn't seem hard, but he was sick of it. What a waste of time. Then she stepped in--she of infinite beauty and grace and wisdom. She'd help him. He thought it might be good to do something so obvious, though after the Hiddleswift mess, publicists suggested that all faux romances be sold "gently" (whatever that meant). 

He knew he'd lose some fans with it, but he accepted that they'd probably leave anyway if they knew the truth. With his publicists' approval, she tweeted an old (and in his opinion, obviously staged) picture involving the three of them. They had held on to each other during the picture. He'd insisted, whispering in her ear just before, because he wanted there to be something real in it. It was never a lie, just a misdirection.

He kept assuring himself of that as he drifted off to sleep.


	3. The One With No One We Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if all they're hiding is being single?

They'd been warned. Fans could be intrusive. Still, they didn't know what it would be like until the spotlight landed on them and never left. It was nice in a way. The biggest movers and shakers in Hollywood weren't that interested in them, but the fans of the show were always there, supporting and promoting whatever they did. 

The pressure started early. The network's PR told them at the beginning that because of the nature of the show, and the characters they were playing, they needed to maintain certain images. That meant he couldn't be a "bad boy" and she couldn't be a "man eater". It was absurd...but so was what they did for a living. They nodded and agreed to work with the PR heads to craft a public narrative that satisfied everyone.

The first narrative had them linked to each other. They had great chemistry and had no trouble being very flirtatious and affectionate in front of cameras--they were that way all the time. They were also the best of friends and had so much fun together, but agreed it stopped there. He liked blondes, sporty girls and she preferred artsy, intellectual men. They played it up in public so they could date others in private. She didn't think that made him a "bad boy" or her a "man eater", but she knew they had little say against the studio's wishes.

When the "are you dating your co-star?" questions got old, they started trotting out dates to events--a consistent one for her (an old, platonic friend) and several (young, clean starlets) for him. 

One starlet in particular wanted to stick around, though Sam didn't like her. She'd been perfect, completely his "type" and was selected for that purpose but he found her boring and even immature at times. Still, not having to break in a new "girlfriend" freed him up to work on his other projects. Despite her dedication to continuing the "relationship", the starlet wasn't very good at it, and it stressed him out. She hated to see him stressed. That's when she decided to step in, "I'll tweet this photo, and that will be that." He'd agreed, though regularly lurking on fan blogs made him wary of doing anything with such little room for interpretation. The blowback would be swift and ugly he'd said, but it would buy them some solid explanations for the the next several months.

As she tweeted it, she was angry. They were actors. If they'd really wanted to settle down and have a more domestic life they'd have chosen different professions. Why did a bunch of men in suits get to control her and dictate how she lived? Why did she have to be judged for not wanting a husband and children? Why are their actual lives being offered up as part of the entertainment? Their orders made her feel like there was something inherently wrong with her. She knew that wasn't true, but it bobbed to the surface of her mind during her low moments. She sighed and hit "tweet", bracing herself for what was to come.


	4. The One for the Shippers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tragic, but maybe true.

"You should eat something." 

He looked up at her, fierce. "You first."

She sighed, and poured them both some more whiskey. What an awful, awful day. After she'd sent out THAT tweet, she thought she'd be sick. She ran to the toilet, her stomach spasming, trying to expel it's contents, but nothing came. She hadn't eaten much since lunch the day before. 

Shooting earlier had been excruciating. Both their minds were elsewhere and they flubbed line after line, irritating the other actors and crew. He'd continued to check his phone, though she'd told him to stop. There were only so many times she could say it without becoming a nag, and on today of all days, she didn't want to push him away.

Once, she'd read that public humiliation was the worst thing that could happen to a human. What they'd had to do earlier to put a stop to the mess of speculation felt like public humiliation. It bothered her to think it--she hadn't been paraded through a street and jeered at, or left in the stocks for hours, but she'd had a part of herself taken, stamped, and mislabeled by potentially millions of people. How could either of them ask to be taken seriously ever again?

He'd done it for her, over and over, putting himself in front of fans and cameras to take the pressure off of her. It was her turn now. She'd insisted. Seeing her distress seem to age him more than when he'd had to bear it alone. The brightness in his eyes was replaced with exhaustion and his broad, muscular shoulders drooped.

She hated HER. SHE had driven it to this place by pillaging something so special to the two of them. The tweeted picture would make her go away. She'd never trusted her, but never thought she'd cheapen something so special to the two of them and distract from something as important as a charity campaign. "Don't assign evil where there's only ignorance," she reminded herself. Her anger dissipated a bit, but what was left was not easier.

Now, the sun had set and the two of them sat across from one another at their rented kitchen table, the light dim. Their dinner: whiskey. They'd barely touched all day, distracted with their phones and their thoughts.

She started to sob, "I hate this."

He looked at her, tears pooling in his eyes, but still planted in his chair, "I know, mo chirdhe. I know."

He got up slowly and went over to her, kneeling beside her. "It's over, now." She grabbed him and dug her face into his shoulder.

"Do you really think so?"

"No. But it will be for a little while." His arms were around her and he stroked her hair and her back.

"We should go to bed. We have an early call." He pulled back and looked at her, giving her a quick nod in agreement. They rose and shuffled towards their bedroom. Neither had the energy to brush their teeth. She wiped her face with a cleansing wipe and offered one to him as well. 

Finally, they undressed and stumbled into bed. They slept fitfully with their limbs entangled, taking comfort in the presence of the other's body. They had each other, if nothing else.

When they woke, mouths clouded with leftover whiskey, they felt bereft. What would the new day bring? They didn't know, and didn't want to find out.

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was rushed and I'm sure I will add things later. My heart broke a little for either Sam or Cait (or both) while writing each one. I think we can all be compassionate towards them, even though we feel bamboozled and hurt.


End file.
